My Horrifically Appropriate Personification, The Engine.

As much as I eat, sleep, and breath what I call The Philosophy of Fine Motoring, I’m not the biggest fan, from a journalistic point of view, to have nothing but philosophy posts and whatnot.

But I promise a humble review of my even-more humble 59 horse power slice of German Perfection, also known as the Volkswagon Polo that Dollar Rent-A-Car  happily equipped me on my far-too-brief to Munich.


This post though, is not about that slice of German Perfection. Rather, I’m progressing through my BEAMS project. The engine is now so free from the subframe that it’s on an engine stand. Regretfully the engine stand is from Harbor Freight. Hopefully I don’t wind up eating my words later. Alas. With it up on the stand, me and my friend Rob started talking about the engine itself. He noticed quite a few parallels between it and myself.

  • We’re both quite rare (yes, I’m very biased here). the BEAMS was only available in Japan. Hopefully I haven’t been cloned.
  • Parts are nearly impossible to find. Similarly, try to find things for me. Lunch, apartments, cups of coffee? I’m incredibly picky. Except when it comes to waffles. Me and the engine differ extremely in this manner. (As far as I know, the BEAMS eats gasoline, not waffles).
  • We’re weird as fuck. And I don’t mean that as a good thing. The BEAMS being only available in one country, meant it wasn’t the best engineered thing in the world. I admit, that’s not entirely true. It puts out 100hp per litre. But it also retains every subtle feature from the 3S-GTE engine. The places where additional oil lines are are simply welded shut. Me? I wake up at 4 in the morning. And I run this damn blog.

Nonetheless, as cliche as it is (and it’s insanely cliche), I have to wonder if like everything else, you ultimately wind up with something that’s really as close to being “you” as is possible. Despite whether one of you is made out of amino acids and chemicals and some part of the periodic table or whether you’re made of red paint, aluminium and run on dead, ground up, gourmet dinosaur juice.


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